she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize