she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
