I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize