I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
