i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
