I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i dont even know how to be here
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
