The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I want her autograph on my taint
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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