I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
