That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
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aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
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Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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