Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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