It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
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He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
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I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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