i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
