i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
3 2 1 whiskey
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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