in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
