I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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