She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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