I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
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i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize