I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
