Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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