i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You don't make any sense
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