im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
