I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
