put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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