i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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