I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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