ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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