with your own penis?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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