9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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