i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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