dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
