You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
