I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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