At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
