I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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