Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
