That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
