So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
