My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
