can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
