Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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