Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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