Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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