Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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