As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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