but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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