He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
