worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
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