guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
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Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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