all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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