Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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