So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
