just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
