morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
