I want to walk on stilts...naked
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
